“The cloud” is a place where you can use software that is widely available elsewhere to cover up all of your family’s problems instead of actually dealing with them.
Make Friends
Sprint: Injury
Sprint customers are jerks.
Denny’s: Math
The United States education system has failed.
Apple iPhone: Waltz
The number two, according to Apple, is better than the number one.
Posted in Explanations
Tagged Apple, Apple iPhone, grammar, TV, Two is better than one
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Volkswagen Jetta: Backseat Dancer
The ghost of Gene Kelly still likes VWs. (At lease he’s not dancing with a vacuum cleaner.)
Posted in Explanations
Tagged Donald O'Connor, Gene Kelly, TV, Volkswagen, Volkswagen Jetta
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Burger King: Free Seattle’s Best Coffee
Baristas are creepy and mistake your repeat business for friendship.
IBM Watson: Computer Competes on Jeopardy!
When the machines take over, IBMers will be the first with their backs against the wall.
DiGiorno: Carpet
DiGiorno customers are pathological liars. (And men are pigs.)
Jose Cuervo: Cue the Cuervo
If someone had ordered four shots of another tequila, the clumsy waitress wouldn’t have fallen on the attractive young woman at precisely the right time. Chaos theory: study it.
Zoosk: Allergy!
Unlike your mom, Zoosk filters out people with allergies. Because they’re undateable.